I’m not sure how other authors feel, but to me release day is a combination of excitement, anxiety, and total anticlimax.

Waxing Moon is out in the world! People can buy it and read it and tell me what they think! How exciting is that? Very exciting. And I love this book–and for people who liked the first one, I’m pretty certain they’ll like this one Even More.

But some people might hate it. Or might have decided they didn’t like the first one, so why would they even buy this one? So that’s a source of anxiety. Will people take the chance on it? Have any of my promotional efforts born fruit? Have I done all the wrong things to promote this one?

And at the end of the day…it can be an anticlimax. I won’t get a ton of reviews today, after all. People just got the book! They won’t sit down, read it, and review it THIS BLOODY SECOND. There’s not some ticker tape parade for me. There’s no giant Harry Potter-level midnight party.

So…I spent release day vacillating between those three states and trying to mostly stay with EXCITEMENT!!!

I think most “big days” in our life are a combination of these three things?

What do YOU all think?

(Also, while thinking about this, please don’t forget to click and buy Waxing Moon! http://amzn.to/2wAsxBI)

I don’t purport to be perfect or even close. I make mistakes. I’ve grown up in a culture that teaches us all to be racist, sexist, and all the other -ists. I fight against these oppressive beliefs, but I’m sure as hell not perfect.

My voice doesn’t deserve to be heard over others–especially over the voices of people of color.

That said, however, I’ve been around several people recently who’ve asked:

As a white person, what can I do? How can I be an ally? How can I be anti-racist?

It is not the responsibility of people of color to give us–you and me–a list of Top Ten Things White People Can Do To Have Less Guilt. That’s asking too much emotional labor from a group of people fighting for their survival–emotional, mental, and physical.

So, although my thoughts are not authoritative, I thought I’d share what I can in the hopes that it be somewhat helpful for some people. (And if I mess up here, I am open and appreciative of the time anyone takes to educate me.)

What can we do as white folks? Here’s some of the things.

• Talk to your kids about racism. Make sure they know what happened in Charlottesville. Make sure they know why white supremacy is wrong. It doesn’t matter how old they are. Talk to them if they’re 3 or 5 or 11 or 17 or, hell, 26 or 42. I’ve heard parents say they don’t want to talk to their young kids, because they don’t want them to be upset/scared/confused. Do you think kids of color have that luxury? Talking about racism doesn’t make you racist and doesn’t give your kids sudden knowledge about racism that might lead them to be racist. Silence on racism perpetuates racism. Silence excuses. Silence says, “This isn’t a big deal. You don’t need to be worried about it.” Teach. Them. Now. And continually. About racism, antisemitism, homophobia, sexism, cissexism, ableism, etc etc etc.

• Every single white supremacist who went to Charlottesville comes from a community of mostly white friends & family. Do not look the other way if someone in your community is a white supremacist. Don’t think they’re just misunderstood. Don’t think they’re just playing devil’s advocate and they don’t really believe that. Don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. As Captain Awkward says, Don’t date Nazis. Tell them their views are not okay. Do not support physically, mentally, or emotionally while they espouse hatred. Sure, tell them you’ll be there for them when they renounce those views, like these parents. But do not be part of their community, wring your hands, and say, “I never thought he’d really [fill in the blank]” on the day after. Also? If you think someone might pose a threat? Report them to the police. Like. Now. Even if they are your father, your husband, your brother, your son.*

• Listen. And read. Seek out people of color and their views on what’s happening. Take their thoughts, fears, and insights seriously. Seek out scholars and undercover researchers and trustworthy reporters. Educate yourself. Arm yourself with knowledge you can share with other white folks–not the ones who are proud to call themselves white supremacists, but the ones who think there are “all sides” or use the term “alt-left.”

• Read fiction. Read fiction written by people of color. People totally unlike you. This will make you a better, kinder, more understanding person. Really.

• Speak up. But don’t speak over. I don’t mean this in a white savior way, truly I don’t. But just like men need to be responsible for ending sexism, because sexism is largely perpetuated by men and gives men advantage, white people need to be responsible for ending racism. On a systemic level, white people control many of the institutions that perpetuate racism. We gotta change those systems. We’re in charge, so we have the power to do this. Now, we shouldn’t assume we know best what needs to be fixed or how to do it–this is where  listening comes in.

• If you belong to any house of worship and the religious leader did not devote the entire service this weekend to denouncing white supremacy, ASK WHY. Call them now. Ask what they stand for. Ask what your place of worship stands for. LEAVE if they don’t have a good answer. Find a place where people want to make this world a better place and aren’t afraid to confront the realities of what’s happening–in the name of nonpartisanship, in the name of preserving relationships, in the name of raising money during the offering. It is NOT POLITICAL to be against white supremacy. It is perfectly appropriate for a place of religion to denounce racism, antisemitism, and hatred.

• Wake. Up. This is happening and if we can’t find a way to fix it? Then more people will die. Call your elected officials. Call your parents who voted for Trump. Talk to your neighbor. Do something. If you can do nothing else, donate your money to those who can fight these fights.

Okay. That’s my thoughts for today.

I wish you all love, peace, and joy, my friends. Now let’s get working.

 

 

*Yes, I’ve used all male terms there. I WONDER WHY?

ps. I don’t have some cute picture for this post. It’s not that kind of topic.

I honestly love my books–and I love this second book, Waxing Moon, even more than the first. (Seriously. I think it’s tighter, the pacing is better, the character development is FANTASTIC, there’s a love interest, the book has a ton of tension, there are some big revelations and surprises… I really love this book.)

Yet it is SO WEIRD to promote my writing. I wish all the people in the world who might like this type of fiction would just somehow find out about it without me having to talk about it. Blogging or tweeting about it seems so narcissistic and…presumptuous.

And right now, when there are HUGE and IMPORTANT and DEVASTATING things happening in the world, it seems even worse to be talking about my book. And yet. This is the week my book gets released.

How to balance pride in my work and fear of being pushy/selfish/intrusive? How to celebrate myself and my book without prancing around like a peacock, stamping my feet and squawking for attention?

I hope I’m striking some sort of balance. And I welcome your thoughts on how I can do this better.

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” – Gustave Flaubert

I came across this quote today and made me think. What have I discovered that I believe through writing Dark Moon Wolf, Waxing Moon, and my WIP?

• Women’s friendships are the backbone of their lives, whatever the media may say to the contrary with their depictions of female competition.
• Physical strength isn’t the answer, isn’t the judge of a person, isn’t how power should be allocated.
• We can all handle more than we think we can. We’d be amazed to discover what we can really do when it’s necessary.
• Sometimes you have to stand up against the people you thought were on your own team, when you realize they’re wrong about something important.
• All people have value. All people. All. This, perhaps, is the guiding belief of my life.

I think I have gotten more out of writing than anyone has gotten from reading my writing. Maybe that’s how it always works?

https://saragray.deviantart.com/art/The-power-of-writing-500539959

Last spring I joined a writing accountability group to make sure I actually get words on the page. (Well, on the screen.)

We’re a disparate group, many of whom focus on academic writing and some of whom write fiction. We have a Facebook home where we post, support each other, celebrate publishing victories, complain about edits, etc.

Here’s how it works. At the beginning of every month, you PAY $20 to be part of the group. You must write 400 words a day, 5 days a week–you actually send these words in to the fantastic woman who runs our group–in order to get your money back at the end of the month. If you miss one writing days, you lose $3. If you miss two writing days, you lose $6. If you miss any more than that, you lose all $20.

If you meet your goal, you actually get back all $20 AND the money “lost” by everyone else is distributed to the folks who “won.” So you might make $9 or $12 or $6 or whatever.

Hey, it’s not much, but it might be the only money my writing makes that month! LOLOL

JK

NK

Kind of JK.

Anyway, the beauty of the contest is partly in the camaraderie, but mostly in the feeling of accountability and competition.

I hate to lose. (Don’t we all hate to lose?) When it’s 9:00 pm and the kids are finally in bed and the kitchen is finally clean and I’m staring a 5:55 am wake-up in the face (no joke–why do they start school so early? and this year I need to take 2 kids to one school by 7:30 and 1 kid to another school by 7:15 and for various & sundry reasons, there’s not a bus option and it is so far hell that I’m trying to working into a better logistics scenario)–where was I?—oh yeah, when I’m tired and unmotivated and would like to read and sleep, I realize that I better get my 400 words in because I don’t want to lose $20. And so I write!

400 words, 5x/week = 2,000 words a week (minimum) = 8,000 words a month (-ish, minimum) = real progress, even if it’s a bit turtle-y

And, frankly, you can point out 400 words in 30-60 minutes. When I have more time or energy, I write more. But I can ALWAYS find a way to get 400 minutes in.

I was part of the group in March and April, winning back a bit of cash each time. In May, I had some complicated family issues arise and made the conscious decision to give up my $20 to the others in the group. I just couldn’t handle the stress of one more thing, so writing had to take a hiatus. I took off June & July (in terms of the group, I did still write a bit) because of travel plans, and I’m back in the thick of the group for August.

So far in August, I’ve written 5888 words in the challenge. That’s probably several thousand more than I would have written without it.

So. YMMV, but if you’re trying to write and having a hard time, perhaps pay someone to make sure you do it? Can’t hurt!!

 

You may have noticed I’ve chosen to capitalize Werewolf and Were in my Calling the Moon series.

My editor and I had long conversations about this. If I didn’t capitalize Werewolf, then I couldn’t capitalize Were. And if I didn’t capitalize Were, then I’d run into sentences like this: “The weres were my friends, though one were was my enemy.”

If you’re in the middle of reading a book about Weres, your brain parses that pretty well…yet it can still make your brain stumble a bit or need to re-read the sentence.

After our discussions, we decided capitalizing smoothed out the sticking points for readers brains and we should treat Werewolf/Were like a proper noun, with the capital. Therefore, Zombies, Vampires, Salamanders/’Manders, Witches, Necromancers…all the paranormal race words would get the same treatment in the series.

What do you think? Do you agree the capitalization is less disruptive to your reading flow? Or is it more disruptive?

In Highland, NY, there’s an all inclusive dude ranch called Rocking Horse Ranch and I dream of having a second career as a RHR wrangler.

(Stops to admire that sentence.)

When I was in my early teens in the 1980s, my family went to RHR one summer on vacation. Now that I have kids of my own, we’ve gone ~a handful of times with the kids. It’s not a cheap place–you could go on a cruise for the same cost–but my parents have taken us there for the last four+ years. My mom and dad, my sister, her husband, and their two kids, and my family of five spend 3 nights in what I consider a little bit of heaven.

One of my co-workers loves to hear about RHR and she decided it sounds like Dirty Dancing with horses. And without the dancing. She’s kind of right. There’s all-included food of all varieties; an outside pool and an inside pool, both with water slides; a lake with kayaks, waterskiing, and the banana boat; the fun barn; a playground; archery & bb gun range; other stuff; and MOST IMPORTANTLY the horses.

I. Love. Horses. When I was young, I had a t-shirt that said this:

in those fuzzy, iron-on letters and a picture of a running horse. I had another that said, “Nuzzle My Muzzle” with two horses nosing each other.

I haven’t grown out of it. I’m just sadly unable to ride very often–something that I must remedy–so when we’re at RHR, I make the most of it and go on several trail rides a day. The kids ride some, too, but I’m the one who could hang out at the stable all day long.

Two years ago, one of the RHR wranglers told me I had a really nice seat on a horse. It was just about the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me.

Sometimes if I’m having a bad day, I think about the fact that some parallel universe contains a Sarah who works at RHR as a wrangler. Hard job: they arrive at 6 am and leave at 5:30 pm, care for the horses, clean the barn, and ride 6 hours a day. But there are days when that sounds like sheer heaven. RHR is one of my happy places.

If you ever go, my favorite horse is Calamity. She’s a feisty smallish mare who LOVES to run and will get away with anything you allow her. But she’s also super responsive, listens when you set boundaries, and she’s beautiful. I love a saucy mare; they’ve always tended to be my favorites, even when I was young. I used to love this horse named Skag who I rode at Watching Stables. She was a kind of ugly-cute horse with an attitude.

Anyway. If you happen to be near NY State and you’re looking for a vacation place with your family, think about Rocking Horse Ranch. I think you’d like it! 🙂

Tomorrow, back to a post about writing! (Riding, writing, whatever!)